Cross-Cultural Competence and Caring For: An Autoethnographic Study on Building Teacher-Student Relationships in an Urban High School by André Borka

Introduction

At the end of the day on the last day of school, all the teachers line up outside of the exit doors and clap for students as they leave for summer break. It was my first “last day of school” as a teacher. As I stood, clapped, and cheered for the students, one of my 10th graders walked through the door. I struggled for the 11 weeks I taught his class to motivate this student to turn in any work or participate in class. He walked up to me and gave me a hug. “Have a good summer Mr. Borka,” he said as he walked down the road toward home. 

The problem that needs to be addressed in the urban classroom is the achievement gap, also known as educational debt (Ladson-Billings) or the opportunity gap (Milner IV). The achievement gap is the difference in achievement between white, middle/upper-class students on the one hand and students of color and low-income white students on the other. There are myriad reasons for the achievement gap, including deficit mindsets, systemic racism, low expectations, school funding, color-blind ideologies, cross-cultural misunderstandings, teacher burnout, and a woefully unbalanced ratio of white teachers to students of color (Ladson-Billings; Ga; Hammond; Howard; Milner IV; Claessens et al.). This study focuses on the role positive cross-cultural teacher-student relationships play in students’ school experience and, in attempting to create a more positive school experience, begins to decrease the gap. Students who do not feel seen or welcomed in the classroom are more likely to feel disengaged at school, ultimately failing. However, a positive relationship with a teacher could change that perception and the student’s academic outcome (Cook et al.; Prewett et al.). 

For human beings to learn and learn well, it is important that they feel they are physically and emotionally safe (Hammond). Hammond further asserts that when humans do not feel safe or feel that there is an immediate threat, such as the threat of failure, ridicule, or racist aggression, the amygdala portion of the brain takes over. This “amygdala hijack” triggers our flight or fight reflex and releases cortisol (the stress hormone) and adrenaline into the bloodstream. These chemicals make it near impossible for the brain to enter the calm and receptive place it needs to be in to learn higher level information, build new neural pathways, and grow. 

For teachers to build an environment that is welcoming and safe, it is paramount that students be allowed to bring their own lived experiences to the classroom as a foundation for literacy education (Sosa and Bhathena); thus, connecting home and school knowledge is an essential tenet when teaching culturally and linguistically diverse students in an urban environment (Ladson-Billings). Teacher-student relationships, especially when built with as many students as possible in the classroom, can create a safe space for students to be their authentic selves and be free from the fear and the threats that make learning and growing the brain so difficult (Kaveney & Drewery). 

As practicing teachers it can be difficult to find opportunities to learn how to better build teacher-student relationships, especially cross-cultural relationships. Many white secondary teachers feel as though they do not have the training they need to effectively build relationships with their ethnically and linguistically diverse students (Claessens et al.; Duong et al.; Howard). That lack of training can manifest in two ways that contribute heavily to the achievement gap between students of color and their white peers: teacher bias and curriculum that is not responsive to students’ lived experience (Ladson-Billings; Gay; Howard). It is the aim of this study to address these factors through story, reflection, and an examination of the literature to provide working teachers with a stepping stone towards building stronger relationships with, and care for, students. It is important to note that the goal of these relationships should not be to move the student closer to mainstream white American culture and thus school success, but to understand them as a human and a cultural being and to use their cultural assets to ensure that they have gained what they need from the school environment.

This study was born out of a unique situation: conducting an autoethnographic study of teacher-student relationship building during the start of my first full-time teaching position in a new school. Tracking and analyzing in real time the experience of a new teacher focused on relationship building adds immeasurable insight to the literature surrounding teacher-student relationships.  This backdrop provides the context for this study: I am a new teacher who is white, cis-gendered, male, and living and working in a mid-sized Midwestern metropolitan area. I was hired out of my student teaching to finish out the spring semester in a classroom of my own. It was from that brief first time in the classroom that the vignette from the beginning of this article was derived and in that classroom, acting as a teacher for the first time is where the need for this study solidified. I worked with the cultural specialist at the school to help guide me in building relationships with and teaching my students. I learned quickly from her that job number one was to build trust. She told me one day, “You know the Black boys look at you, a white man, and think ‘this is who kills me.’ That is what you are up against building relationships with them.” Holding space for that reality, I look to the literature to guide my relationship-building as I attempt to answer the question,  How does a white, male, first-year teacher navigate building interpersonal relationships with culturally and linguistically diverse students in an urban high school? 

The following section outlines the theoretical framework and extant literature which guides the analysis of my relationship-building experiences.

Literature Review

One of the most fundamental things an urban educator can do to ensure student success is focus on building positive personal and academic relationships with their students (Gay). Relationships take many forms, provide many benefits, and have the capacity to shape school outcomes and even lives. Building relationships with students in urban high schools can increase students’ academic success, their independence, self-efficacy, and autonomy (Claessens et al; Duong et al.; Prewett, Bergin, & Huang; Howard; Hammond). Building those same relationships can make teachers’ jobs not only more effective but more enjoyable, increasing teacher retention rates (Prewett, Bergin, & Huang). This literature review will explore the how and the why of building strong teacher-student relationships in an urban high school setting. 

Theoretical Framework

To place this study in context, the critical analysis will be performed within the framework of Culturally Relevant Pedagogy (CRP) (Ladson-Billings).  Ladson-Billings identifies three goals for CRP: 1) academic success, 2) cultural competence, and 3) a critical consciousness of the status quo. These three goals will be used as guideposts for the efficacy of different methods for and philosophies behind building teacher-student relationships. 

Closely tethered together, Ladson-Billing’s goals for CRP and Geneva Gay’s six practices of culturally relevant teaching (i.e., 1) high expectations for all students, 2) engaging students’ cultural knowledge and perspective, 3) bridging gaps between home and school practices, 4) seeking to educate the whole child, 5) using students’ strengths to transform education and 6) critically questioning normative schooling practices) provide a lens through which to understand the topic under investigation. These practices align with Ladson-Billings’ goals for CRP and provide a lens by which to come to understand my experiences.

I attempt to take this foundational work further by incorporating the tenets of Culturally Sustaining Pedagogy (CSP) as well. CSP attempts to take the heritage aims of CRP to incorporate the roots of students’ cultural being and consider the modern, shifting reality of students’ identities. Culture then becomes dynamic within the classroom and CSP asks if it is enough to be relevant or if teachers are obligated to support students in realizing and sustaining their cultural identities within the classroom (Paris). 

As I planned my instruction for the beginning of the year, holding space for my identity as a white teacher and my students’ various racial and ethnic identities, I mapped out ways to learn about students’ culture inside and outside of the classroom and use that information to build engaging lessons. These actions allowed me, within the confines of CRP and CSP, to build relationships with my students, maintain those relationships, and have a better sense of how to repair them if they are damaged (Cook et al.). By focusing on these areas as a new teacher, I was able to find ways to build and maintain relationships that would allow me to practice the tenets of CRP and engage in CSP.

Methods of Building Teacher-Student Relationships

There are many ways to build relationships with students, with examples including Establish-Maintain-Restore (EMR) (Cook et al.), which focuses on the methods for building relationships with all students; hip-hop-based education (HHBE) (Hall), which uses the tenets of hip-hop to engage students of color; or by practicing restorative justice (Kaveny & Drewery; Sandwick et al.). Each ideology calls for a focus on personal growth and learning that is valued more than strict adherence to traditional schooling methods as well as a call for teachers to reject the status quo to better serve their students. Each approach provides part of the puzzle, addresses part of the issue, and together they provide a depth of knowledge and a tool kit that is needed to intentionally navigate building relationships in a culturally and linguistically diverse urban high school. 

Prewett, Bergin, and Huang found that teachers who actively work to build positive relationships and model prosocial behavior have a profound effect on students. Not only do these teachers develop better relationships with their students, but the students develop deeper engagement, interest, and self-efficacy in the classroom. Patience and persistence are fundamental, calling for teachers to give time for their students, act as facilitators, and validate and empower students (Hammond).

Validation and empowerment are essential to caring for¹ students and the kind of caring that a teacher practices matters. It is possible for teachers to get caught up in the care for a student’s emotional wellbeing to the point where it negates the academic success of the student (Rivera-McCutchen). Instead of infantilizing students of color or lowering expectations, teachers need to become “warm demanders” (Bondy & Ross; Ladson-Billings) who maintain high academic standards while nurturing students. 

Moll et al., in a study of Mexican families in Arizona, show that the adults who hold teacher roles within student households often occupy more than one role—existing, for example, as both uncle and teacher, relative and guide. These multi-faceted, authentic teacher relationships can serve as a model for teacher-student relationships in the classroom. Claessens et al. corroborate this idea finding that positive teacher-student relationships are often based on communication events that occur outside of the bounds of the classroom and curriculum. It is important that teachers of culturally and linguistically diverse student populations recognize that not only do students bring unique and valuable knowledge to the classroom, but they also bring unique systems of learning that can serve as guides for us all. 

Barriers

Teachers bring into the classroom their own culture, race, language, experience, preconceptions, understandings, and misunderstandings (Ladson-Billings; Gay; Howard; Hammond; Milner IV). To effectively build relationships with students that come from diverse backgrounds, teachers need to be vulnerable and open to learning from their students (Milner IV). 

In searching for the openness and connection necessary to build cross-cultural teacher-student relationships, it is important for teachers to avoid social contexts that can cause harm to students of color in the classroom. Milner refers to these social contexts as the tenets of the Opportunity Gap Framework and they include: 1) color blindness, the insistence that one does not “see race”; 2) cultural conflicts, when teachers see their own culture as superior to their students; 3) the myth of meritocracy, in which achievement is solely based on the individual; 4) deficit mindsets and low expectations, when teachers do not believe that culturally diverse students are capable of academic rigor; and 5) context-neutral mindsets, in which educators believe that only content and not context matters.

Duong et al. also examine why teachers have trouble building relationships. Teacher participants in their study found lack of skills, role conceptualization, and beliefs or attitudes to be key barriers to building positive relationships with high school students. Aside from the lack of skills, which will be addressed with specific interventions later, role conceptualization, or a teacher’s understanding of their job and obligation to students, is one of the largest barriers to teacher-student relationships especially at the high school level.

Many secondary and high school teachers do not see it as their job to build relationships with their students (Duong et al; Claessens et al; Prewett et al.). This mindset comes from the banking education method (Freire) in which the teacher’s role is to deposit information into their students’ waiting brains. While a clearly outdated interpretation of successful teaching practice, the further along in the educational system one gets, the more prevalent it remains. All is not lost because mindsets can be reset.

The answer to the research question—How does a white, male, first-year teacher navigate building interpersonal relationships with his culturally and linguistically diverse students in an urban high school?—does not fit neatly into a box.  No single approach will be appropriate for all students. The goal of this research was not to create a road map, but an atlas, to combine theory and practice and create a collection of routes for entering the urban classroom ready to build relationships consciously and adaptably with the students inside. 

Research Design

The methodology for this qualitative research study is autoethnography. Autoethnography sprung out of a resistance to the false impartiality of traditional research methods. Instead of pretending that it is possible for the researcher to be an impartial observer, autoethnography recognizes and embraces the fact that everyone has a different interpretation of events (Ellis et al.). During the “crisis of confidence” in the 1980s, researchers found that truths discovered in research studies often aligned with the identities of the scientists who found them (Kuhn; Rorty). My multiple identities directly impact the way that I operate as a teacher and how I interpret the world around me. As an English teacher, a writer, and a researcher who is studying my relationships with students, it is essential to the work that I can use emotional experience as evidence. It is impossible in a self-study such as this to disassociate the interconnectedness of not only my identities and perspectives with my students but also how those relationships exist in a particular space. Autoethnography is an attempt, in some regard, to pair research and literature (Bochner); to pair the observation of human experience with human expression. 

Research Site

This study took place in my notebook, my mind, and in a high school English language arts (ELA) classroom at Weathridge High School in the geographic suburb of a mid-sized midwestern city. I chose to conduct this study in the environment in which I work daily to build relationships with students. While there is the potential for harm in any human interaction, the interventions I implemented in this study do not deviate from the daily course of teaching high school ELA, and thus were not disruptive to the daily flow for students. 

Data Sources 

I used three different data sources for this study: 1) field notes, 2) journaling, and 3) the extant literature. Field notes are the most immediate data set. I recorded interactions of interest in a pocket-sized notebook during the day while teaching. I engaged in journaling every weekend to compile my field notes, reflect on the week, plan for the next week, and begin drafting stories for my study. And I used the literature I uncovered through database searches as guides for my interactions with students and for comparison with my completed stories. 

After my six weeks of notes and observation were complete, I wrote four stories based on my experiences illustrating my efficacy at building relationships with my students.

Data Analysis

To analyze the data from this study, I analyzed the stories extracted from my classroom experience. The first step I took in analyzing the data was to record and transcribe my reflective journal and field notes for the entire six weeks for the data collection window. From this transcript I was able to see which topics and specific relationships I was consistently reflecting on and writing about.

Once I had the data transcribed and organized, I identified four topics or interventions that most frequently appeared in the extant literature and the observational data. After I organized my data, I found representational stories within that data that best illustrated the four topics and drafted those stories as the basis for the narrative analysis. 

With the four stories written, I placed the extant literature and the observational data sources in conversation. This process allowed me to connect the interventions and their outcomes with what I learned from my review of the literature, placing my scholarship in a larger context. I performed an analysis on each story to determine how well the interventions worked and how the results relate to the extant literature.

Finally, I was able to take what I learned from each topic and story to draw overall conclusions regarding the effectiveness of the interventions and my ability to build positive teacher-student relationships within the classroom. In the following section I illustrate my consolidation process, share my stories, and present my comparisons and analysis.

Results – Stories from the Classroom

The following section addresses the results of the data analysis. Here I will discuss the four topics that occurred most frequently in the extant literature, which I purposely use to ground the analysis of my field notes and reflective journaling. In addition, I address specific interventions that assisted in my framing of best practices to engage relationship building. Lastly, I will draw conclusions of the effectiveness of each intervention as I juxtapose my findings with the established literature.

A story, when told correctly, can teach us more than any lecture or lesson (Mello). It is with this spirit in mind that I have compiled four stories from my first six weeks at Wealthridge High School. I took notes and reflected upon all 60 class periods therein and found value in every single story. I have battled with the urge to write about each of the 56 students in the two classes I observed. I learned something about myself and my profession from interacting with each of them. Out of my daily notes and reflective journals I have selected four stories pertaining to the relationships I wrote the most, and the most deeply about. They are the stories and interactions that paint the best picture of how my planned (and unplanned) interventions, actions, and dispositions translated into relationships with my students.

To choose which stories were the most important to tell and which revealed the most about my attempts to build relationships with my students, I needed a tool to organize my data. With the table below I have compiled a visual snapshot of the data analysis presented later in this chapter. I have included the four topics/interventions most prevalent in the literature and in my experiential data sources. In the second column I included the raw data from my journal and field notes that applies to that specific intervention. The third column identifies which story in the following section is extrapolated from the data (all names are pseudonyms), and the fourth column provides a brief explanation of the outcome of that intervention.

Intervention	Raw Data	Story	Outcome
Emotional Support Before Academic Support	– Marion and friends call me their gossip teacher – want to tell me about all the things that happen in the school. Marion and friends called me their therapist – talking about the racial profiling that is happening in the hallways before school. They feel safe sharing their experience with me. Today – darker skinned members of their group were punished for things their lighter-skinned peers did. – Marion came to me in the morning to regulate and talk through some problems at home. He is trying to live with his dad – having issues with his mom and needed to vent.- Marion came back during lunch, said it was me and his friends that he wanted to see and talk about it.	Marion	Because of the emotional and personal support I provided for Marion, when he was in a personal crisis, he came to me for guidance and help; I happily provided that support, and he was able to make decisions about his own home and school environment.
Cultural Identities within the Curriculum	– Isis came and confided in me about an altercation she had with two staff members yesterday. She feels bad about it and does not want that to impact her day today. We talked through the problem and hopefully she has a better perspective on it and can get something out of the day. -Oh, she was so excited when we got to listen to Tall Paul in class. It was the clearest I have heard her speak in front of the whole group – he is rapping in his own language. I cannot imagine too many other classes have Anishinaabemowin as part of the curriculum. She stumbled a little with the formative discussion, but we paved the road for success there.	Isis	Through the use of culturally relevant materials in the classroom, I was able to strengthen the personal relationship I built with Isis and begin to transfer that success into the academic realm. Because she felt safe and represented in the classroom, she was able to engage in a way she was not able to before.
Outside-the-Classroom Conversation	-Folks are saying hello to me in the hallway more regularly. They are using my name which for me is always a good sign – it means that they perceive me as a person and not just a faceless authority. -Started by greeting each table in person before class – May kill some time but it may show I care about their day and how they are before starting the lesson. Seems like everyone is on better track today. Do not need it to be silent, just on track.	James	Because of my consistency with greeting students at the door and getting to know them as people rather than just students, I was able to create a unique safe space within the school where James feels seen and valued as a person.
Adaptive and Restorative Instructional Approach	Conflict resolution convo!-Posed seating chart-Had bad reaction-Hard to continue class-Asked directly if saying we were going to have a seating chart damaged our relationship-They said yes-Had them argue for why we should or should not have a seating chart and came to a compromise-Checked in with Remy and Freddy at the end of class and they said we are good-Good relationship building moment	Successes v. Struggles	By taking an adaptive and restorative approach to classroom management, I was able to recognize when a classroom relationship was damaged and work with my students to resolve the conflict. This action set the stage for buy-in and agency from the class and a collaborative working environment.

In reflecting on my chosen stories, I posed a series of questions that guided my analysis. Was this a positive relationship from the student’s perspective? What did I do well? What could I do better? How does this story relate to the literature? What does this story show about building cross-cultural relationships? What questions does this raise for further study? The answer to each question may not be relevant for each story but create a reflective framework through which to process these events. In this study I focus on observing my efforts in two separate classes: one section of 10^th grade ELA and one section of 12^th grade ELA.

Grade Level and Demographics

10^th Grade

My first hour class was 10^th Grade ELA. The student population of this class is 36 students from diverse populations with Latine, Black, White, Native American, and Asian students. The learning styles and levels are as varied as their racial and ethnic makeup. I have students who struggle to write a complete sentence and students who can free-write a full page in a manner of minutes.

The immediate challenge in this class was finding the time to get to know the needs and personalities of each of these students so that I could meet them where they were and move forward in the most beneficial manner. I calculated that if I provided no whole class instruction and limited my interactions to 1 minute 22 seconds with each student, I could talk to each of them every day. That was not a viable plan, so I set about other ways of building relationships that allowed all my students to feel seen and connected with me and the larger class.

Interventions

The attempts and interventions I applied in this class section took on many different forms. The simplest of these interventions included standing in the hall outside of my classroom every passing time so that I could say hello to each student and welcome them by name every day. This practice gave me the rare chance to provide each student independent attention at the beginning of each class.

In addition, I began each class with a different animal displayed on the projector screen. “The Adorable Animal of the Day” exists 1) to disarm teenagers with a moment of fuzzy Zen and 2) to stimulate authentic conversations as students guessed what the animal was, shared facts they might know about the animal, and settled into the space and learning community. Each day, the first interaction I had with all of my students was not centered on content. This welcoming intervention set me up for our daily grounding exercise of quick writing.

Quick writing works, in my classroom, as a multi-function tool. I do not read the writing that students do during their writing time, but instead pose questions that will get them to relate their current knowledge and understanding of the world to the work that is ahead. On top of the ignition and inclusion of home knowledge, these quick writes serve as practice for writing fluency and stamina as students are expected to continue writing for the entire five minutes regardless of if what they are writing makes sense. Students are then encouraged to share what they wrote, and we segue from that practice into the day’s content. These practices are the base interventions for the relationship building that I do at a whole class level.

Stories

Marion

This first story explores the relationship I built with Marion. Marion is a Black male 10^th grader. He is talkative, opinionated, relationship-oriented both with peers and teachers, clever, awkward, and one of the strongest relationships I built in my first 6 weeks of teaching at Wealthridge High School.

***

My relationship with Marion began the week before school started during 9^th grade orientation. He came into my room with another student and asked, “Are you Mr. Borka?”

I replied that I was.

He responded, “Okay, I’m in your 1^st hour and I just wanted to come early and let you know that, despite how it is spelled, my name is pronounced Mawr-ee-ON not Mary-IN. Also, your class looks cool.” I thanked him for letting me know, made a note in my notebook, and practiced saying back so that I got it right.

“Alright Mr. Borka,” he said, “I’ll see you on Tuesday.” And off he went.

After our initial encounter, I knew that Marion had opened the door for a relationship with me and that it was incumbent on me to foster and build that relationship. From that first meeting it was clear that he liked to talk, and I felt that my best course of action for building that relationship was to listen and remember the things that Marion talked about, to engage in conversations outside of the scope of the classroom not only to build comfort, but also to foster his sense of identity around me and in the classroom.

Humor was a central pillar in the relationship I built with Marion. I could tell on the first day of classes that he and his friend group were humor oriented and I built that into my instruction as well as my asides with their group. My reasoning was two-fold: from a classroom management standpoint, if I could get the table of jokers laughing with me, I could guide the class more easily and intentionally, and from a relationship building perspective, that humor could take down the barriers that often exist between 15-year-olds and any adult.

The plan worked well. I would joke, they would laugh, I would segue from the joking and laughing into instructions and work time, and they would do their work mostly without complaint. There was a moment when I knew that this strategy had paid dividends. I do not grade all the work that students produce in my class. Much of what we do is practice or preparation for the graded assessments where they get to show the skills they have been working on. I had assigned just that kind of practice assignment when one of the other students at Marion’s table asked me if this was graded. I told them that while I was not going to grade this activity, I was going to collect it to check their progress and that it would directly impact their ability to do the summative assessments. Often that is the work killer but instead they nodded, and Marion turned to look at me and said, “You know, we mostly don’t do ungraded work, especially not for teachers we do not like. But we will do it for you, Mr. Borka.”

As the weeks rolled by, Marion and his friends began to call me their therapist and their gossip teacher. They came to me every morning with what was bothering them in school, whatever gossip was going on, the update on their respective sports, and mostly an ongoing saga concerning their persecution by one of the assistant principals (AP). This AP worked at the middle school while Marion and his friends were enrolled there and had followed them to the high school as they moved through the grades. Though this AP is a Black man and Marion, and his friends are all Black or Latine, in their view he targets them, especially the darkest-skinned members of the group. They were open with me about their feelings and shared videos of the encounters they had with this AP. I documented what they told me and did my best to support them as I could.

The last chapter in the Marion saga occurred during the 6^th week of school and my final week of data collection. Over the preceding weeks, Marion told me about some issues he was having at home, mostly centering on his relationship with his mom and mistreatment by his stepdad. On Tuesday of that week, Marion came to talk to me at about 7:30 in the morning. He told me that he had to talk about some stuff going on at home and that I and his friends were the only people he wanted to talk to about it. It was so early (the school day begins at 8:40) and I was curious why he was at school already. He told me that he had gotten into a fight with his mom and that she had taken his phone and “all of his stuff.”

We talked for a while, regulated, processed emotions, and he asked if he could use the phone to call his dad. I told him of course he could. He called his dad and then, as I had a meeting to get to, he found his friends. He was back for class and then spent lunch with me as well, working through his thoughts and feelings and called his dad one more time. Finally, he said thank you and headed off to class.

The next day, his friend told me that he had moved in with his dad the night before and would be transferring schools to the district where his dad lives. I have not seen Marion since. I know that I built an important relationship with Marion, that I was there when he needed someone, and that in 6 weeks, I was able to build the kind of trust with a student that provided for him in a moment of immense crisis the support he needed to change the fundamental reality of his life. Marion did all the demanding work, but he chose to come to me to back him up. I am not sure I did the right thing. I went back over the mandated reporting parameters, and I do not believe that I did anything ethically wrong. I trusted Marion to do the right thing as he showed me the kind of person he is. Though I miss having him in my class every day I am so proud and happy that he was able to make these decisions about his own life.

***

One of the strongest contributing factors to a positive teacher-student relationship, in my findings, is the permission from a teacher for a student to be themselves. This permission is not necessarily explicit, but instead comes from treating students as people, being genuinely interested in what they have to say about the world around them, and often it includes humor.

From Marion’s perspective, we had a positive relationship. He found in me support, learning, fun, mentorship, as well as emotional backup and a sounding board when his home life got difficult. While I gained a great deal from our relationship—connection, a reason to show up, laughter, pride—the anchor that I was able to provide for Marion, I hope, was far more valuable to him during a rough and transitional time in his life.

As I reflect on my time spent teaching Marion, I am curious about the implications of building a relationship with a student that ends your relationship. How do we as teachers use our relationships as launch pads for students? The goal is that a positive teacher-student relationship is not a permanent fixture but instead a model, much like teachers model a skill in the classroom, so that the student can go out into the world and build their own personal, professional, and academic relationships. This idea links most closely with the research of Prewett, Bergin, and Huang, who state that the modeling of prosocial behavior by a teacher is precursor to student engagement and self-efficacy. It is through the modeling of how to be in a relationship, how to connect with people, that we do some of our best and most important work as educators.

For example, through my practice of listening to students’ issues, being authentic with them, and encouraging students to bring their true selves to the classroom, I modeled strong, prosocial relationship-building behavior. The fact that these students of color trusted me, their white teacher, enough to talk openly and candidly about racial profiling in the school as well as their issues at home is an enormous marker of progress for me. This message is reinforced in the following story, not only in my role as emotional support but also in the ways curricular choices can build on those emotionally based relationships.

Isis

It would be impossible for me to study the positive teacher-student relationships I built in my first six weeks at Wealthridge High School without examining my relationship with Isis. Isis is in my first hour. She is Dakota and started 10^th grade this year after having been outside of the formal schooling system for five years. Isis and I connected in the first couple days of school, and I recognized quickly that she was one I needed to check in with regularly and that my job as a teacher included teaching her how to do school again. The following vignette took place Tuesday of the third week of school in the hall before class as I welcomed students individually.

***

I said hello and welcomed Isis as she walked towards my classroom. She paused for a second and then turned back to talk to me. She stumbled with her words for a minute, letting me know that she was not feeling up to school and that she felt bad about something. She said that she had gotten into an argument the day before with a few people, had yelled at them, and was feeling anxious about seeing them that day. I asked a few questions; did she feel safe being at school, was the argument with a staff member or another student, had she apologized for yelling. She said the argument was with staff members that she felt safe now and had apologized but still felt strange knowing she would have to see those people again that day. I reminded her that the staff was there to support her and the other students and that we understand that most of the time getting yelled at is not about us. I encouraged her to apologize individually and then go about her day, getting the best out of school that she could. She was receptive.

The next day she came to class and said that she had just gone through the day and that things went well. She was feeling good and still happy to be at school. I know that she is still in the process of finding out if she is allowed to stay at Wealthridge and that she really wants to. I think having interrupted formal schooling has been tough for her. I am not sure what she went to treatment for, but it would not have been an easy road if it took 5 years.

Later that week, we listened to Tall Paul in class. Tall Paul is an indigenous rapper from Minneapolis and in his song “Prayer in a Song,” he raps the chorus in Anishinaabemowin. It was the clearest I have heard her speak in front of the whole group; “He is rapping in his own language.”

I cannot imagine too many other classes have Anishinaabemowin as part of the curriculum. While she has stumbled a bit with her transition back to a traditional school environment, she is making strides with being more comfortable and confident in class.

The Indian Education liaison, Shayna, touched based with me and Isis’ other teachers to let us know that she was in the building and working with Isis as well and that she was welcome to come to her office to smudge² or for support. I touched base with her about Shayna’s email, I thanked her for being open and honest with me about her needs, and told her that I supported her in working in Shayna’s  room if necessary. She said that she was appreciative of my checking and felt comfortable and trusting with me as well.

***

Three major factors came into play in my relationship-building with Isis: listening, expanding my role as subject area teacher to guide or mentor, and doing my best to represent Isis’ culture and home knowledge into the classroom (Ladson-Billings; Gay; Howard; Hammond; Milner IV; Claessens et al.; Moll et al.). By using indigenous writers and voices in the classroom, I was able to do several things for Isis. I was able to make her feel seen in the classroom and validate her identity. This simple act showed to her that I valued her experience and the knowledge and strengths that she brought with her to class. Finally, it gave her the opportunity to speak with authority in front of the class and, in a new school, feel as though there was space for her.

Our relationship was also strengthened by building community. Shayna is another adult in the building that Isis trusts. She offers a different space and cultural support than I can offer. In confronting my own whiteness and the cross-cultural nature of our relationship, I know that I will never be able to provide the things for Isis that Shayna can. I can, however, be a part of what makes school welcoming and doable for Isis. By working together to care for Isis, rather than simply care about her, Shayna and I created a small community that is the supportive, authentic environment that helps ensure student success.

Grade Level and Demographics

12^th Grade     

The second class section in which I collected data was my seventh hour class. Seventh hour is 12^th Grade ELA co-taught for English learners (EL). There are 20 students in this class and of those 20 students, 18 are Latine, one is Black, and one is South Asian. 12 male and 8 female. There are nine multilingual students who receive EL services. My co-teacher in this class, Ms. Formerly, is white, female, in her mid-twenties, and a first-year teacher.

Interventions

In this class section, I practice many of the same interventions in my first hour. With 16 fewer students and a co-teacher, it is much easier to spend the individual time needed with each student to forge positive relationships. In this section, I focused more on conversations about topics outside of class as suggested by the research of Claessens et al. and found that it was a wildly successful approach. I have found the practice of talking with students about their lives outside the classroom to be the most crucial step I took toward building positive teacher-student relationships. Especially with 12^th graders, this practice shows the students that I care for them as people and not just as the producer of schoolwork. It helps me as a teacher to know what my students care about, what they spend their time doing, and the way that they think about the world. As a Language Arts and Communication teacher, understanding the way a student sees the world around them can be invaluable information. It informs differentiation more than anything else in my view.

What classifies as an “outside the classroom” conversation? Can they occur within the classroom? Of course, they can and often do. But the key is that the conversation does not relate to class content, the students’ performance in class, or one’s duties as the students’ teacher. This can include personal likes and dislikes, movies, TV, music, and the students’ experiences in other classes and with other teachers. I can act as a port in the storm and a sounding board for my students’ daily struggles. I can trade music suggestions with one student and recap yesterday’s soccer game with another. One of my students may need to process her boyfriend drama before she can engage with the lesson, and listening to her will do nothing but produce a stronger relationship and a more dedicated student.

This practice is supported by Claessen and colleagues’ research and relates to Hammond’s work on the neuroscience behind learning. By speaking with and listening to students about subjects outside of the class content, you are signaling to students that they are safe and cared for. The result of which is that students will be able to reduce their cortisol levels, exit amygdala hijack, and enter the frontal lobe of their brain, ready to learn. Feeling safe and seen, students can be their authentic selves in class and are much more likely to engage with the content than if they feel as if they are simply a body to the teacher who is expected to perform on command.

The following story from my seventh hour class shows clearly how a simple interest in a student’s well being outside of the classroom can be the foundation of a positive teacher-student relationship.

Stories

James

I had the following conversation with James during the final week of my data collection period. James is a Black male 12^th grader. He plays basketball and loves old school Hip Hop. He is quiet, an observer by nature, and a deep thinker. His writing reveals a unique and nuanced perspective on the world around him.

***

I said hello to James every day, much like I do to all my students, but by week six did not feel like I was really getting to know much about his life and passions. I had seen his interests through his writing and the way that our class activities draw on personal experience, but I needed to try to build a stronger relationship.

One day during the sixth week of school, I was chatting with him about an assignment, and I asked what his plans were for the weekend. He said that he had a Rake-A-Thon fundraiser for the basketball team and that they were raising money for new uniforms and equipment. He then asked me what my plans were, and I told him I was going to be writing. He asked what about, and I told him that I was working on my master’s thesis. He wanted to know what my topic was, and I told him that I was studying myself as a new teacher and how well I practiced my philosophy that teachers need to build relationships with students to effectively teach, and that I read a lot about it and then reflected on how well I thought I was doing.

He followed up with a question: “How well do you think you are doing?”

I thought for a second and said, “I think I am doing well. I get a little better every day and get to know everyone better week by week. It is hard to stay focused on building relationships with everything you have going on as a new teacher but, I think I’m doing a good job. How do you think I’m doing?”

He looked at me and said, “You ask me how I’m doing every single day. I have teachers who have never asked me how I am. I wish more teachers were like you.”

With that, the conversation and our relationship changed. We went on to talk about the diverse ways that teachers approach their students, why I approach things the way I do, and what he looks for in a teacher. It was brief, but deep and I came away with a renewed sense of purpose.

As James walked away to his next class he turned and said, “Thanks for talking to me.”

“Thanks for talking to me,” I said right back, and we both went about our days.

***

It is a simple act—asking someone how they are. Often it is an empty gesture but when someone genuinely asks on the right day, it can be a powerful bonding experience. Though I did not necessarily see my practice of asking James how he was every day as a huge deal, it became clear through our conversation that it was a unique practice and made an impact on James. Since this conversation took place, my relationship with James has strengthened and we talk more deeply every day.

As I reflect on this practice, I see how important simple acknowledgement is in the process of building relationships. It does not take too much effort to allow students to feel seen in the classroom. While there will be involved and profound relationships like the one I built with Marion, not every student relationship needs to be that to be strong or effective. Sometimes, a simple check-in and genuine conversation about something outside of school is all that it takes for a student to feel comfortable and safe enough to avoid amygdala hijack and feel able to learn (Hammond; Claessens et al.). For example, unless there is some pressing academic matter, my first interaction of the day with each of my students has nothing to do with class. As with James, I greet them all, ask how they are, trade stories of the week or the weekend, and build a personal connection before an academic one. In my experience this outside-the-classroom conversation provides the best foundation for a positive personal and academic relationship.

In reflecting on my conversations with James, I realize that he, more than other students, asked me about myself and what I was up to. I recall Hammond’s explanation of selective vulnerability as a “trust generator.” Whenever James asked me a question about myself, I did my best to answer honestly, and I get the impression that when I ask him how he is that he tells me the truth as well. A trusting exchange and speaking one’s truth can have a profound impact on a relationship and that idea takes on a different form in the following vignette as well.

Struggles v. Successes

In the previous stories I have explored what I consider to be strong successes: stories of my plan bearing fruit and resulting in engagement and forward progress for students. My final story about seventh hour deals in no absolutes. Upon reflection, it is about building individual and class-wide relationships, about struggling to do the right thing, about being adaptive in the moment, and (as is often the case in teaching) accepting non-closure and the fact that the process of building and maintaining relationships never ends.

My struggle in teaching this class has been between building relationships and traditional classroom management expectations. Combing through my notes and reflective journals, I see entry after entry about trying to figure out how to engage a group of six Latino boys in this class. Depending on the day, my mood, their behavior, and myriad other factors, these entries range from attempts to bring their home knowledge into the classroom to utter frustration that they will not be quiet for 10 minutes of instruction. I am not especially proud of my response at times when frustration took over and my conditioning kicked in and what I expected was a silent classroom. I will own that impulse. I believe, especially as a male, white teacher who enjoyed school, it is difficult to meet students where they are when my bias and perception leads me to see their behavior as a disinterest in listening or engaging in class. The following story examines the intersection of these urges, traditional classroom management practices, and adaptive relationship-based practice.

***

At the start of the school year, I decided not to assign seating charts unless it was necessary due to behavior or conflict that could not be handled another way. After the second week of school, Ms. Formerly and I began discussing a seating chart in our seventh-hour class. Some of the behaviors were outside of the daily “let’s roll with it” behaviors and we wanted to find some order in the class. I struggled with this decision since it was the beginning of my first year and I did not have a handle on exactly why the behaviors were happening. I hoped that continuing to build relationships with these students would solve the problem, but from where we stood, it was impossible to get through instruction without getting completely derailed.

We decided a chart did need to be made. The plan was to roll it out as a part of our discussion unit that would encourage students to mix up their groups and interact with different peers. As soon as I brought it up in class, the room deflated, and heads went down. We lost the class completely. I tried to continue the lesson, but it fell on silent, disengaged faces. I panicked for a second and then I asked, “Did we lose you because of the seating chart?”

Heads went up and they said yes.

I asked, “Is a seating chart going to impact our relationship?” Again, they perked up and said yes.

So, I asked them to propose a compromise. I pulled up the standards and learning targets that the unit was based on and showed them that on a state level, students were expected to demonstrate communication across multiple groups. We talked it out, students made their cases, and we produced an agreement that we continue to have choice seating given a respectful large class environment and then there will be no complaining when we switch around groups for discussion. After everything was settled the lesson went forward, students were engaged and responsive and rapport improved across the board. When the lesson was over, I checked in with a few of the students who were the most vocal and ensured that we were still on the same page and in good standing. They assured me that we were and that they would see me tomorrow.

***

It was a powerful teaching moment. It felt as though I was truly able to walk my talk in that moment. Responsiveness, adaptability, approaching students as people, and empathetic intuition all came into play in this scenario. While we were creating a contract as a class, students were also practicing the very skills being covered in content lessons. Where the conflict came into play was that I was unsure if what I wanted was trust or control. I chose trust and it has paid dividends. The last thing I want in an ELA classroom full of multilingual learners is silence. It is easy to forget as teachers that the joyful noise is important and does not always mean distraction. If we shut down our students every time they are too talkative, we cannot get mad when they do not participate in discussions. This, however, flies in the face of traditional classroom management philosophies. It all comes down to goals—what do I want? Silence and compliance? Or authenticity and connection? My choice will always be authenticity and connection.

This story connects to Newberry’s  research on the stages of teacher-student relationships. Newberry highlights four stages: 1) appraisal, 2) agreement, 3) testing, and 4) planning. For example, I recognize that Ms. Formerly and myself needed to take in and appraise the situation. Then, as a collective, we needed to agree on what was acceptable moving forward. The students tested this agreement with their arguments, and we finally settled on a plan. I am very conscious that this is a cyclical process and one that continues in my seventh hour as well as in every other class I teach. It takes the place of the “establish” step in the Establish-Maintain-Restore (EMR) method from Cook et al.  My daily practice then is to maintain clarity about the status of my relationship with my students and take the time and care to restore that relationship when necessary.

As a new teacher I find myself overly concerned with whether I will be seen as a good teacher, not solely by the students in my care but also the other teachers and the administrators I report to. This fear of judgment can get in the way of my practice and values. While I know who I am and want to be in the classroom, I am still working on breaking down the voice—a distinctly white  and authoritarian voice—that implores me to be a more traditional teacher.

I had a conversation with a colleague at my old school about behavior intervention and classroom management and she said that she never asks a student to do anything—only tells. While I know that there are cultural differences in communication patterns and that some students of color might respond better to statements and directions rather than questions, it still took me aback. I ask my students all the time. I need to know what works for them. I tell them to do things too, but I need a balance in my room and my life, a conversation. If I am truly aiming for relationship and trust, authenticity, give and take, collaborative progress, and safety, I need for my students to be able to tell me when they are having an off day. I need to respect that and to be able to tell them when I am having an off day. If my seventh hour has taught me anything, it is that I need to sacrifice some control to build trust and build trust to create learning.

Conclusions

In this study, I have attempted to reflect upon my first six weeks in a new school and the relationships I built with my students during that time. I had to reset my perspective often during those six weeks. I had to challenge my automatic urges to exert control over my classes. I had to process a heinous, violent act at our Homecoming game. I needed to confront the memories of violence from my own high school career that the event and the resultant response triggered. I had to remember not only to be reflective but to act upon my reflections.

I do not think that I did everything right. I believe that I would have been much more successful if I had classroom routines solidified earlier in the year. I would stay further ahead in the curriculum and planning if possible. I am still not sure if I did the right thing by Marion. But I am sure that I have been successful in one regard: I have built positive teacher-student relationships with many of my students. The result of those relationships is that students feel safe in my classroom and will get more out of my class than if I had approached my job in a different way. I am proud of that fact, and I am encouraged to continue building relationships with my current students and dedicated to building positive relationships with all my students in the future as well.

I found no profound conflicts with extant research. The approaches that worked together to build strong relationships were outside-the-classroom conversation, being emotional support before academic support by modeling prosocial behavior, relating student interest and cultural background into texts and lessons, working to practice restorative and adaptive teaching, being honest with my students about my own identity, and seeing my students as humans first. Every day presents challenges and choices. I choose every day to care for my students.

Limitations

The limitations of this study were much the same as any qualitative self-study in that I am inherently biased when reflecting on my own experience. I only have my own perspective to build off, and while through reflective practice I attempt to present a critical view of that perspective, I am never able to be fully objective.

Another limitation is that my experience is not universal. This study takes a micro-view of two specific class sections and attempts to extrapolate universalities from there. While there is reinforcement from the extant literature, the vignettes, analysis, and findings remain unique to my experience.

Further Research

The completion of this study raised several possibilities for further research. The first and most intriguing is to extend the length of the study to a full school year and focus on the relationships built with a small number of students over that time. The depth of knowledge gained from such a case study would shed light on the finer points of maintaining and restoring positive teacher-student relationships. Second, it would be valuable to study several targeted curricular interventions to see which classroom content and activities are most conducive to building relationships. My findings in this study support the benefit of outside-the-classroom support, and a follow-up that focused solely on instructionally based relationship building has the potential to provide a great deal of scholarly value.

Footnotes

¹Taking action to help students achieve certain outcomes. This moves past the passive “caring about” students and into proactive moves teachers make to ensure students are healthy, successful, and safe.

²Smudging is a ceremonial practice performed by some Indigenous peoples of the Americas. It involves burning sage and other plants to bless, purify, or pray. With Isis’ difficult transition into mainstream school, having a place where she can start her day practicing her culture with supportive adults is vital to her agency as a person and success as a student.

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